Wednesday, June 4, 2014

BREAKING NEWS: Non-Conformist Misses Barbeque

Former POW Bowe Bergdahl has been plastered all over the news for the past few days. Earlier this week, it came out that Obama had traded five Taliban members for Bergdahl, who had been a captive for the past five years. 

When the information was first released to the public, everyone went "yayy!!" because he was (as far as we know) the last known American captive of the Taliban. But then his fellow platoon members started coming out about how much they didn't like him. Some are now arguing that Bergdahl is a deserter who is responsible for the deaths of the men who searched for him.

Perhaps his most heinous crime, however, is that he didn't go out with the guys. 

According to The New York Times, "Platoon members said Sergeant Bergdahl, of Hailey, Idaho, was known as bookish and filled with romantic notions that some found odd." 

"He wouldn’t drink beer or eat barbecue and hang out with the other 20-year-olds," said one of his comrades.

And everyone knows, of course, that every non-conformist is a traitor. God forbid that an off-duty soldier chooses to read rather than drink beer. 

This doesn't paint a pretty picture of his platoon members. They have zero tolerence for bookish guys, and are quick to use his personality as evidence of his lack of patriotism.

Do you think that not drinking beers with the guys is a sign of a traitor?